Poor John Torode.
He and his wife Lisa Faulkner were guests of honour on board the Sky Princess recently for the inaugural Good Food Show at Sea.
Dressed to the nines in a burgundy velvet smoking jacket, the Masterchef judge and the equally glamorous Lisa poured the first trickle of Champagne over a pyramid of glasses, to the rapturous applause of the crowds gathered in the ship’s cavernous piazza.
Days later, and the gastronomic legend couldn’t walk from one deck to another without a grinning guest shouting ‘sausages’ at him – and imagine the scenes at the breakfast buffet.
Okay, I am overexaggerating a bit. But what happened?
Well, it turns out John loves a sausage.
The gristlier the better, he admitted, during a packed-out question and answer session in the ship’s Princess Theatre during a day at sea on our way to Portugal and Spain.
“A sausage really is a divine gift from the culinary gods,” he mused alongside Lisa, who he briefly met on daytime telly in the 90s before getting properly introduced when she won Celebrity Masterchef in 2010.
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To the delight of the crowds, Lisa confessed John was hooked on the hot dogs being served poolside on the lido deck – and the 59-year-old recalled how he was caught by a fellow shopper leaving his local M&S with a pack of Frankfurters under his arm.
In the comparatively small confines of the ship, the joke quickly spread – and so a myth was born.
The beauty of taking the Good Food Show, the largest of its kind in the UK, and transporting it into a ship was the camaraderie between the chefs and the guests; you’d see them in the buffet, having a cocktail across the bar, using the gym or the spa.
That’s before you got on to the business of the show itself.
entertainment programme, guests were spoilt for choice with demonstrations from a range of chefs including Gennaro Contaldo, Rachel Allen and another Celebrity Masterchef champion, Olympian Greg Rutherford.
An addition to the regularThe Good Food itinerary was kicked off by headliners John and Lisa, who – they reminded us dozens of times – had a new book to promote; John and Lisa's Kitchen: Everyday Recipes From a Professional Chef and a Home Cook, to give it its full title.
“This book is one of my proudest moments,” Lisa told the Q&A. “People don’t have the money to go to restaurants, so I hope this helps people just get a bit more confidence and get back in the kitchen.”
During their demonstrations, they made a range of recipes from the book: pineapple pancakes, stuffed smoked salmon French toast, steak with chimichurri sauce and teriyaki salmon with noodles – billed the ‘fastest noodles in the west’.
They imparted plenty of useful advice – from making sure to let all food, particularly meat, rest after cooking to making caramel (shake, never stir).
Their most important lesson came during a popcorn-related hiccup.
As John placed the only kernel to successfully pop on top of the pancake, he said: “My best advice? If it doesn’t go right, never admit it – it’s just your version of the recipe.”
This advice would come in useful sooner than I thought, as we tried two of the classes: fondant fancy-decoration with yet another Masterchef winner – the aptly-named Julie Friend – and cocktail making guided by Saturday Kitchen producer-turned-mixologist Andy Clarke.
“That really does looks lovely,” Julie smiled as I drooped strands of pink icing across the top of my fancy in childish squiggles.
I suspected she was being kind, a thought confirmed when she said the same of my friend’s sprinkle-encrusted attempt – which, by her own admission, looked more like a piece of sushi. Delicious though.
Despite abusing a strainer and almost pouring away our drink, our cocktail making session was a rip-roaring success. Or was that the booze talking?
We made an orange-tequila concoction and a ginger beer and bourbon fizz named a ‘Ginger Jingle’; both were festive in their own way, the former like summer in Australia, the latter more traditionally spicy.
It was not just a case of quality, but quantity too. For £25 a head, we each got four glasses of cocktails. Daylight robbery – and a one-way ticket to tipsy street.
Thankfully, we were booked into one of the ship’s premium restaurants, Sabatini's Italian Trattoria, where I was able to soak up the booze with five courses and cheesy garlic plaits, truffle arancini and seafood linguine to name a few carbs.
First among equals had to be the main course. Ossobuco, which translates as ‘bones with holes’, describes the cross section of veal shank which is braised in broth and slow cooked for so long the marrow begins to melt into the sauce.
Served with a saffron risotto, it was top notch. Don’t just take my word for it – one of the Good Food Show hosts said it was the best meal he’s had in ages.
I hope John managed to prise himself away from the hot dog stand to try it.
After a lot of food and fun, it was time to go home - and as we disembarked, who should we walk past but Mr Contaldo, boarding in Barcelona to impart his wisdom to guests.
He gave us a warm smile and I gave him one right back.
This cruise was a trial run to see how the format worked – and from my experience, and the conversations I heard on board, I hope this is the first of many Good Food Shows at Sea with Princess.
Consuming tapas and culture in Spain and Portugal
The trip wasn’t all about the food on board; there were plenty of stunning sights and delicious tastes as the Sky Princess (almost) circumnavigated the Iberian Peninsula.
Starting with pastel de nata in Lisbon, perfect fuel for all the steps through the colourfully tiled old town, we then stopped off in Seville. With streets lined with the signature orange trees, it was a sight to behold – crowned by the gigantic cathedral, a triumph of Gothic architecture influenced by the mosque it grew out of.
Inside is the final resting place of Christopher Columbus, who said he would never be buried in Spanish soil – so instead his tomb is carried aloft by four monarchs symbolising the Spanish kingdoms of yore.
Other highlights included the Murcian naval base Cartagena, where we sampled a local tapas speciality called a marinera: a breadstick covered in Russian potato salad and topped with a pickled anchovy.
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